I just finished a grueling remote for the British Open (or the Open if you’re in the UK).  While working I overheard a network bigwig comment about a feature:

“I thought the music at the end was a bit too sugary…. You know. conscious clearing.”

My initial reaction to the last two words was one of inside laughter, but honestly, at the time I didn’t understand the meaning. Why those two words? Then it finally hit me.

Those two words are the nerf around the bullet of criticism; as long as you end a negative comment with “conscious clearing”, then you aren’t putting direct blame on the targeted person, but on your guilt ridden self for not being able to live with the thought of not mentioning the critique that is ripping you apart. Before this concept spreads, I want to over use the hell out of it. By the time this crappy communication style reaches the west coast, I want people to already be humorously using this phrase as if it was a killer joke from Office Space.  Some examples to get you started:

“Looks good, but shouldn’t you use a better looking font… conscious clearing”

“Your voice really bugs me… conscious clearing”

“I think you are a horrible boss… conscious clearing”

“You could use a wax or shave down there… conscious clearing”

“You are the most pointless, worthless person I’ve ever met. May you take a deep dive in a shallow pool… conscious clearing”

Biggest abuse of the ellipse, and it must be stopped, or just mocked.

Categories: ramblings, Uncategorized